The Rise of Better Men - A New Way to Raise Boys and End Gender Abuse

On a sunny Tuesday morning in the Wakiso District, the schoolyard of Divine Mercy Junior Primary School is filled with laughter. Boys and girls run after each other across the dusty area, their blue and white uniforms swaying in the wind.

In one corner, a group of students gather near their instructor, performing a brief play.

A boy steals a girl's workbook and teases her. Before the teasing gets worse, the teacher stops the game and gently asks, "How do you think she feels?" The talking stops. Then Moses, an introverted 11-year-old, raises his hand.

She feels upset... perhaps angry," he says. "I believe it's not right to behave that way towards her.

The instructor gives a nod. What started as a lighthearted performance has evolved into a lesson about compassion, regard, and fairness.

What appears to be a simple classroom exercise is part of a subtle transformation taking place in community schools on the outskirts of cities, such as Divine Mercy. Educators are guiding boys to discard negative actions and grasp the importance of respect.

Previously, most safety lessons concentrated on showing girls how to safeguard themselves. However, teachers have now understood that genuine change also needs to involve boys.

By assisting boys in discarding negative actions and recognizing the importance of respect, educators are tackling the core of the issue, rather than just its surface. As boys develop empathy, equality, and respect, schools turn into more secure and just environments for all.

Transforming Classrooms into Catalysts for Change

Uganda is still dealing with concerning rates of gender-based violence (GBV). According to areportAccording to the Uganda Bureau of Statistics (UBOS) and UN Women, more than half of married women and girls between the ages of 15 and 59 have faced physical or sexual violence from their partners.

For many years, efforts have centered around educating girls on how to remain safe. Girls are taught to report and prevent violent situations, shifting the responsibility of safety onto the young girl before she is capable of comprehending sexual violence.

These teachings never address instructing boys on how to avoid causing harm or where the accountability of a second gender might lie in the occurrence of gender-based violence.

This is the approach that headteacher James Immekus intends to implement through the "Raising Respect in School" initiative. A strategy that incorporates respectful conduct, establishes clear guidelines, and actively promotes the teaching and application of empathy and social skills to prevent future instances of gender-based violence.

We understood that we were constantly advising girls on self-protection, yet we seldom explained to boys the importance of respect," he states. "so we reversed the approach.

In Luweero, the Luweero Seventh-Day Adventist (SDA) Primary School is trying out a strategy that prioritizes prevention. The emphasis is on boys—not because girls are less important—but because altering boys' perspectives at an early age may prevent violence from occurring in the first place.

Senior educator Peter Mugisha states, "We don't simply inform them that violence is wrong. We pose questions, listen, and encourage them to reflect. It's about transforming their perception of themselves and others."

At the Divine Mercy school, the educational program now features role-playing activities, peer guidance, and collaborative tasks that examine concepts such as fairness, compassion, and gender roles. Students engage in discussions about household responsibilities, talk about ways to safely walk home together, and develop skills to address disagreements without using violence.

As per Immekus, respect posed a significant challenge in educational institutions, leading them to seek alternative methods to help boys comprehend gender-based abuses during their time at school.

We seldom discussed with boys why they should avoid hurting girls from the beginning. This needed to be addressed.

Visible Change in Attitudes

A 12-year-old boy named David, smiling while cleaning the classroom, mentions that the classes changed his way of thinking.

"Previously, I believed girls were responsible for all the cleaning. Now I contribute as well. It's more equitable," he states.

Teacher Jane Nansubuga acknowledges the change. "We used to witness boys pulling girls' hair or insulting them almost daily. Now, other boys intervene to stop such behavior. That's an improvement."

Each afternoon, students conclude the day in a circle, clasping hands for prayer. To outsiders, it appears normal. To headteacher Sarah Namatovu, it represents change in action.

"If only a portion of these boys come to believe that girls deserve respect, we would have already transformed the future," she says with a smile.

Wakiso District's initiative is based on successful precedents. In Mityana District, theGood School ToolkitThe Good School Toolkit, developed by Raising Voices, led to a 42% decrease in physical violence from teachers to students, a 41% reduction in emotional or sexual violence, and a 30% drop in bullying, as reported by a randomized controlled trial.

Prior to the implementation of the Good School Toolkit in school syllabi, approximately 52.7% of students indicated they had faced physical aggression from school personnel.

In other parts of the sub-region, comparable methods are producing positive outcomes. In Kenya, school-based initiatives focused on gender have reduced bullying by almost 25 percent. Research indicates that boys who receive training in respect and empathy are twice as likely to step in when they see harassment occurring.

Education expert Samuel Okello from Teach for Uganda — an organization focused on improving the country's education system to be more fair and accessible — states that the model's advantage comes from its repetition and prominence.

Boys undergo changes when they observe role models acting in a different manner. When they consistently hear the same message from teachers, parents, and friends, it becomes an integral part of their identity.

Tabitha Suubi, who works as the Violence Against Children Prevention Programme Manager at Raising Voices, states that to keep these concepts alive, the Good School Toolkit prompts school administrators to create a policy against sexual violence.

If properly put into action, these policies have the potential to change the school environment, enhance the security of every student, and guarantee the program's continued success over time.

Change Beyond the Classroom

Parents have observed a positive change within the household. Esther Nanteza smiles when she remembers her son's change. "He used to refuse to do tasks, claiming they were for girls. Now he assists his sisters."

He said, "At school, we are all equal." That deeply affected her, she remarked.

In the nearby Mityana District, John Ssemanda, a father of three, states his commitment to raising sons who view equality as a form of power.

I was raised in a place where women had no say. I don't want my sons to take that mindset forward," he states. "When boys show respect to their sisters and peers, they will grow up to respect their future wives.

For David Kato, a boda boda driver and local youth advocate, the lesson holds both real-world relevance and ethical significance.

Instilling kindness in boys is more cost-effective than fixing the harm from violence," he states. "If we cultivate respect today, we won't need to battle abuse in the future.

Local church elder, Rev. Williams Tomusange, states, "By educating boys that girls are equal, we are protecting both our daughters and sons from being victims or offenders."

As stated by Dr. Harriet Nanyonjo, a psychologist from Makerere University, timely intervention is essential.

Children develop concepts about gender at a very young age; by the time they are seven, many already think that boys are stronger or more deserving," she explains. "If schools address this early on, we have the potential to change entire generations.

A representative from the Ministry of Education, Margaret Aciro, admits that programs such as those in Wakiso and Luwero Districts might be adopted on a national scale.

"Our updated education policy focused on gender responsiveness backs initiatives that encourage fairness. The situation in Wakiso offers us an example that can be expanded if we focus on teacher development and involvement from the community," she states.

Establishing the Basis Early: The Parenting for Respectability Program

The Parenting for Responsibility initiative (PfR) is an additional approach designed to foster respectful and compassionate young men in the context of family life, specifically addressing gender-based violence.

It is a 16-session group-based parenting initiative created in Uganda, designed for families, aimed at tackling intimate partner violence and child abuse at both community and national levels, highlighting the need to reshape the roles of fathers as well as mothers.

Educators such as James Immekus have discovered that integrating this method with teaching respectability in schools leads to a more efficient and comprehensive adaptation process for young boys.

We understood that instilling respect in school alone is insufficient, so we chose to collaborate closely with parents through their program, "Raising for Responsibility," which is an indigenous, culturally appropriate parenting initiative designed to prevent violence against girls. Thus far, the impact has been noticeable.

A study conducted over seven years, both before and after, by the Child Health and Development Centre—supported by the Sexual Violence Research Initiative (SVRI), Bernard van Leer Foundation (BvLF), the Netherlands OAK Foundation, and Glasgow University—examined the program's effects on family dynamics; relationships between partners; and sexual and gender-based violence (SGBV); it found that the initiative decreased "harsh parenting" and domestic violence in semi-rural Ugandan areas.

Dr Godfrey Siu, a lecturer and researcher at the Child Health and Development Centre of Makerere University, and former head of this program, states;

The program was created to address four major family-related factors contributing to gender-based violence (GBV): poor parent-child relationships and emotional connections; strict parenting and physical punishment; biased socialization of children based on gender; and conflicts between parents.

Challenges That Persist

Although there has been advancement, challenges still exist within these initiatives. In the Raising Respect in Schools program, educators are overburdened, financial resources are scarce, and at home, traditional male-dominated views frequently counteract what is taught in school.

"We can educate them here, but if the message they receive at home contradicts this, it's challenging to have an impact," acknowledges teacher Mugisha.

Some parents strongly oppose, arguing that these lessons make boys "weak." However, educators respond that respect is not a sign of weakness, but rather a demonstration of strength.

A 2021/22 scientific analysis of the Parenting for Respectability initiative, carried out in semi-rural Ugandan areas, found that domestic violence against children by parents was almost halved, along with a decline in spousal abuse and intimate partner violence among parents who participated in over 60% of the program.

Another issue is sustainability. Numerous previous efforts lost their drive after donor support ceased. Posters from the Good School Toolkit can still be seen, though faded, in some classrooms, serving as a reminder that social change requires time.

Additionally, these efforts had various constraints in their reach. The Community Sensitisation and Legal Awareness programs carried out by the Ministry of Gender, Labour and Social Development (MGLSD) along with NGOs like FIDA-Uganda and Uganda Women's Network (UWONET) aimed to educate communities on women's rights, the Domestic Violence Act (2010), and the importance of reporting abuse, but they seldom explored how family relationships play a role in violence.

Child protection and social welfare initiatives, with organizations such as UNICEF, Save the Children, and World Vision supporting local child protection committees and educating social workers to detect and report child abuse, frequently operated without parental involvement, placing less emphasis on enhancing parent-child bonds.

A gender rights activist named Lydia Tumusiime cautions: "You can't alter mindsets as quickly as growing maize and reaping the benefits within three months. It requires prolonged, dedicated work."

The Beginning of Change

Nevertheless, there are grounds for optimism. District Education Officer Fredrick Kiyingi Kinobe thinks the developments in Wakiso might mark the beginning of a larger movement.

"If every district implemented this approach, we might witness a nationwide transformation. It begins with boys but ultimately affects everyone," he states.

It's uplifting to observe that these two initiatives are based on comparable fundamental principles. At first glance, they may appear distinct: The Parenting For Respectability Programme collaborates with families to tackle intimate partner violence and violence toward children at both community and national levels, whereas Raising Respect in School is an approach that focuses on respectful conduct, establishes clear expectations, and actively instructs and reinforces empathy and social skills within schools.

Nevertheless, both initiatives are grounded in similar fundamental values; fostering respect, reducing aggression, and cultivating compassion. For genuine transformation to occur, these programs are most impactful when implemented together, supporting and enhancing each other's objectives.

Learning Respect: Educators Around the World Reevaluating How Boys Acquire It.

It's crucial to recognize that these initiatives in Uganda align perfectly with the worldwide effort to address toxic masculinity, which has been amplified through social media and online access to the so-called manosphere. Many young boys are increasingly turning to violence and aggression against girls in schools and online, influenced by misogynistic "men's rights" advocates.

This behavior, which experts have identified as outcomes of toxic masculinity and gender norms prevalent in online spaces, has been highlighted. Headteacher James Immekus is not familiar with the Teaching Respect program offered by the Thrive Alliance Group and their downloadable reference guide. However, it is heartening to observe that educators worldwide, from East Africa to North America, are independently coming together in their commitment to foster a more compassionate and empathetic generation.

At 15 and currently attending secondary school, Brian Matovu still remembers the lessons. "I told my friends that mocking girls is wrong. Some of them laughed, but I don't mind," he says with pride.

As the sun dips below the horizon in Wakiso, students come together in a circle, holding hands, their voices lifted in prayer. For some, it's a daily habit. Yet, for their educators, it signifies that a subtle transformation is taking place.

In a nation where over half of women face violence, as reported by UN Women, the basic gesture of boys and girls holding hands—without competition, but as equals—is far more than just a tradition.

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This narrative is backed by the Solutions Journalism Network, a non-profit entity focused on thorough and engaging coverage of solutions to societal issues,solutionsjournalism.org.

Copyright 2025 Nile Post. All rights reserved. Distributed by AllAfrica Global Media ().

Tagged: Uganda, Women and Gender, Africa, East Africa

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