Strong Families Raise Resilient Kids: An International Perspective

A family known for being rather quiet and subdued, avoiding excessive noise, now faces an awkward situation. The older son recently completed his graduation, whereas his talented younger sister is still in her final years of high school. The father earns a moderate salary working as a mid-level government employee, but his spouse often remains confined to their bedroom due to health issues.

This greatly concerns him, and he constantly feels frustrated because the income he earns each month isn’t enough to meet even half of what his wife requires and requests from time to time. She appears resigned to what she likely considers her destiny. Perhaps she has given up on striving and is merely awaiting the end.

However, her spouse and the father of their two children proved to be quite a challenge to persuade and he remained steadfast. He felt compelled to exhaust all possible options merely to alleviate the pain endured by the mother of his kids. This determination led him to confront issues with his own son.

Initially, the boy informed his parents shortly after graduating about his intentions to pursue further studies toward another degree. This new endeavor was aimed at entering a profession deemed highly likely to ensure employment. The area from which he earned his initial qualification boasts an abundance of graduates coupled with intense rivalry and scarce job openings. Prolonged unemployment among such individuals isn’t unusual. One may wonder why he opted for this particular field initially. In truth, circumstances led him down this path without much personal preference involved; fate seemed to guide him towards it, leaving little room for alternative choices. While his parents did not voice opposition openly, they seemingly supported his aspirations—until harsh realities set in.

His father needs time to carefully consider everything and likely evaluate the advantages and disadvantages before deciding to speak with his son. The father informs his son that conditions at home were deteriorating due to his mother’s health declining daily; her situation worsened not because treatments failed but because they lacked funding. As expenses increased and financial struggles became more prevalent among families struggling below the middle-income level, his father could no longer maintain superficial cheerfulness and rehearsed pleasantries. Therefore, he proposes a solution: asking his son to postpone pursuing another degree and instead find work temporarily to avoid further decline in his wife's health.

The young man, understandably, felt unprepared for such a query and initially struggled with how he might respond to his father. After several minutes, however, he gathered himself and pushed back somewhat. He explained that finding work during this period was nearly impossible and added that he wished to pursue another degree, specifically one in computer science, as soon as feasible. His dad did not press too hard and handled the situation diplomatically. Indeed, theirs was a close-knit family; both sets of parents had elevated expectations without being overly demanding, and together with their two kids, they formed an ideal unit even amidst financial constraints for much of the year.

Currently, Dad has an additional motivation for encouraging his son to begin generating income at the earliest opportunity. This urgency stems from his desire to secure some form of backup should he fail to witness another New Year. There’s a hidden aspect known only between himself and his medical professionals. Like his son, he also harbors undisclosed health issues that he keeps strictly confidential from everyone else—including his spouse and children. His condition does not significantly alter his usual demeanor; thus, none of his relatives or acquaintances suspected that he was concealing any serious matters.

Listen, son, I’m not pressuring you to do anything against your will. The ultimate choice rests with you alone. You understand our struggles each month; you’re aware of my limited income and how sometimes I resort to taking loans due to fear of real hardship. If you could find employment, even temporarily, it would help us immensely in getting your mom back on solid ground." The son was speechless, seemingly devoid of responses as well, so he stayed silent.

These words proved to be incredibly difficult to express: "I'll think about it, Dad." They certainly didn’t provide much reassurance when accompanied by the visible network of veins and blood pulsating across his face! As the father’s head dropped downward, he began sobbing. Witnessing this emotional state affected his son profoundly, causing him to rush towards his father with an overwhelming urge to hold him tight. Even then, tears streamed uncontrollably down both their faces.

On the contrary, her sister—who consistently ranked among the top students during both primary and secondary education—intends to pursue a medical degree. Her parents and older brother approved wholeheartedly of this decision. She was undoubtedly an astute young woman capable of achieving whatever academic goals she set out to accomplish. Interestingly enough, she herself proposed taking a break from studying after finishing high school to work and earn income for several years, allowing her mother—the person she cared about most—to be relieved from enduring significant pain. Indeed, their mother faced immense difficulties. Isn’t this family truly remarkable and praiseworthy?

I bring up this topic because numerous families struggle immensely throughout life’s ups and downs, often living hand-to-mouth just to get their children through college. Frequently, these parents find themselves abandoned when their kids move away seemingly without looking back. However, it's heartening to know that despite such challenges, there remain resilient and robust family units holding strong.

-Sending the Wrong Signs

Not long ago, I found myself at an event I typically avoid because someone whose opinion I deeply respect insisted strongly enough. So I thought to myself, “Spending a few minutes there would not be entirely pointless.” To tell the truth, despite being considered somewhat of an introvert, I’m that person who, due to various reasons, does not particularly like social gatherings—especially when most of the attendees are strangers to me.

This time around, my expectations were high, so did I enjoy it? Let me share with you how everything unfolded. The audience primarily consisted of people from the upper echelons of society. To suggest that something was amiss would be both an understatement and quite misleading. Everything flowed seamlessly. Ignore the endless buffet line, stretching far beyond what someone having only a couple drinks could possibly manage to explore thoroughly.

However, when it came to beverages, I must confess that I was utterly shocked to see individuals—well-respected ones even—readily gulp down glass after glass of various drinks without giving any thought to their potential effects. Fortunately, I managed to find a cozy spot near the far end and sat on an inviting couch. The person who had invited me seemed everywhere at once, frequently approaching others yet occasionally checking up on me, urging me to join him for another round. But I only took a few small sips and have absolutely no intention of drinking anymore.

As the moments passed, the atmosphere began shifting. Often, I've heard acquaintances recount firsthand experiences and secondhand accounts of bizarre conduct observed in such settings. Once the excessive consumption of drinks reaches its peak, the true narrative unfolds. Arguments break out sporadically, with individuals known for being quiet and restrained suddenly raising their voices unprecedentedly; minor gatherings emerge haphazardly, and actions grow increasingly unpredictable. Conversations frequently escalate into physical confrontations as participants strive to sustain some sort of dispute.

The irony lies in the fact that at distant points removed from the physical turmoil, couples engage in various forms of affection—some trying to caress and perhaps plant a couple of kisses on a woman’s attractive face—with outcomes deemed victorious. This scene might appear almost dreamlike when considering reality. Stopping after just two sips meant I had no trouble concentrating. With full command over my senses, I could observe situations objectively. Indeed, this clarity offers an advantage. However, witnessing certain behaviors exhibited by individuals clearly mature yet acting shockingly immature prompts reflection: “Can we genuinely claim superiority to critique younger generations for comparable conduct?” Absolutely not.

Where could this person possibly be—the one who had invited me here? Given how off-key things were and with the purposeful dimming of the lights, identifying familiar faces became quite difficult. Yet, after seeing events unfold that I wished I hadn’t witnessed at all, the strong desire to dash towards the exit and flee entirely overwhelmed me; all I really wanted then was to express my gratitude and say goodbye quickly. Eventually, I spotted him engaged in what seemed like intense conversation with another couple of men, looking perfectly ordinary under the circumstances.

It seemed as though some form of mental connection was at play because he nonchalantly turned his head in my direction and noticed me staring at him. Almost immediately, he rushed over to where I was sitting.

At least I was certain he wouldn’t pressure me into staying any longer than I wanted. And indeed, he didn’t. After hugging each other, I expressed all the kind words I could recall, grateful for the opportunity to be involved in everything. Naturally, we were both aware that my final comments were merely meant to add some warmth and weren't to be taken too seriously.

A few days later, we met for an entirely unrelated reason concerning some work he needed me to handle. During this meeting, I seized the chance to bring up what I had observed at that raucous gathering. His reaction was almost one of amusement.

He queries with booming laughter, "You enjoyed it, right?" I respond that I found it hard to appreciate something I couldn’t comprehend or articulate to myself. I realized he was ridiculing me as he probed about which aspect of the occasion I disliked.

"I'm not talking about personal preferences here!" I share with him some of the unforeseen events I observed, experiences too elusive for me to capture in writing.

“What do you think about them?” He mocked me! But then his expression turned more serious as he asked whether I would get upset if he shared something with me. Of course not! He admitted that he had brought me there so I could experience these events personally. “Since I’m a writer and essentially confined all day long, I wanted you to observe firsthand how the middle-aged and elderly residents of this city entertain themselves.” Afterward, he criticized nearly everyone for focusing solely on the younger crowd—those who’ve left the old trucks behind—while overlooking the actual issue at hand: the behavior of the older generation, which should know better but still acts shockingly enough to surprise outsiders unfamiliar with the circumstances.

Take a look at the moral decline; it’s a worldwide issue, and we have a considerable distance to travel before things settle down and rationality prevails. It puzzles me why some elderly individuals behave in such appalling manners—behaviors that, left unaddressed, could mislead the youth into adopting harmful stereotypes.

Just look at them doing it; so why would it be wrong for us to do the same?

Provided by Syndigate Media Inc. ( Syndigate.info ).

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